I read a lot of material on stay-at-home-moms, and rightly so, it is a difficult job with little appreciation. We SAHMs need all the encouragement we can get. However, I’ve seen little to no articles, blogs, etc on life for a wife before or after children. Our lives are centered around our children: getting them, raising them, shooing them off into the big world. Then what? What happens to the SAHM once all her children are grown & gone and she is left with an “empty nest”. She still has someone, someone who should have been a huge focus all along: her husband. She is still a wife, being her husband’s wife is still as much her calling as they celebrate their twentieth anniversary as it is when they celebrate their first. It’s true husbands don’t need quite as much attention or effort as babies, elementary children, teens, or young adults do, but they still need it. Whether or not a particular wife chooses to become a stay-at-home-wife after being a stay-at-home-mom is irrelevant, the fact remains that if she chooses to…it is enough.
Being a wife is a high calling, it was the original purpose for women being created in the first place. It wasn’t to bear children (though that’s arguably a very important role woman has), it wasn’t to help other women, it wasn’t to break the glass ceiling. Eve was created because Adam had nobody, he needed a help meet. Genesis 2: 18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. We see here that woman completed man, Eve was created because Adam lacked something. The term wife is also here, she was automatically his wife. Women were created, primarily, to be wives and helpers to their husbands. Being a wife is the original calling of and for women. Everything else is secondary. 1 Corinthians 11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
All the examples in Scripture of good, godly women include her helping her husband in some form. The first quality mentioned about the Virtuous Woman of Proverbs 31 is about her husband: 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. In Titus 2 aged women are called to teach the young women how to love and obey their own husbands, among other things women should be. It almost seems a given in Scripture that wives should always be wives to their husbands, no matter their age or season in life.
Our husbands matter. Helping our husbands should always be a focus, whether it’s our main focus or a co-focus with raising our children. Wives may feel they can use their free time to pursue full-time volunteer, work, or study. Those are all fine, but if you choose to become a stay at home wife, you are enough. If you are a stay at home wife before you have children, you are enough. If you don’t have children and are ever a stay at home wife, you are enough. Don’t let this world convince you otherwise.