Archive | February 2014

Why being a stay-at-home-wife is enough.

I read a lot of material on stay-at-home-moms, and rightly so, it is a difficult job with little appreciation. We SAHMs need all the encouragement we can get. However, I’ve seen little to no articles, blogs, etc on life for a wife before or after children. Our lives are centered around our children: getting them, raising them, shooing them off into the big world. Then what? What happens to the SAHM once all her children are grown & gone and she is left with an “empty nest”. She still has someone, someone who should have been a huge focus all along: her husband. She is still a wife, being her husband’s wife is still as much her calling as they celebrate their twentieth anniversary as it is when they celebrate their first. It’s true husbands don’t need quite as much attention or effort as babies, elementary children, teens, or young adults do, but they still need it. Whether or not a particular wife chooses to become a stay-at-home-wife after being a stay-at-home-mom is irrelevant, the fact remains that if she chooses to…it is enough.

Being a wife is a high calling, it was the original purpose for women being created in the first place. It wasn’t to bear children (though that’s arguably a very important role woman has), it wasn’t to help other women, it wasn’t to break the glass ceiling. Eve was created because Adam had nobody, he needed a help meet. Genesis 2: 18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.19 And out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. We see here that woman completed man, Eve was created because Adam lacked something. The term wife is also here, she was automatically his wife. Women were created, primarily, to be wives and helpers to their husbands. Being a wife is the original calling of and for women. Everything else is secondary. 1 Corinthians 11:9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.

All the examples in Scripture of good, godly women include her helping her husband in some form. The first quality mentioned about the Virtuous Woman of Proverbs 31 is about her husband: 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. In Titus 2 aged women are called to teach the young women how to love and obey their own husbands, among other things women should be. It almost seems a given in Scripture that wives should always be wives to their husbands, no matter their age or season in life.

Our husbands matter. Helping our husbands should always be a focus, whether it’s our main focus or a co-focus with raising our children. Wives may feel they can use their free time to pursue full-time volunteer, work, or study. Those are all fine, but if you choose to become a stay at home wife, you are enough. If you are a stay at home wife before you have children, you are enough. If you don’t have children and are ever a stay at home wife, you are enough. Don’t let this world convince you otherwise.

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The healing power of a baby

To be honest, I was worried about having a second child. Even though my pregnancy and birth with my precious boy went perfectly, I had post-partum depression for over a year. I was worried the same thing would happen with my daughter. Only this time it would affect both my children. I thank God I didn’t have any PPD with my girl, I didn’t even really have any “baby blues” (aside from normal hormonal junk).

Having Tzeitel was so healing for me. It showed me I can do this. I can be a good mother, I am capable of loving a skinny little newborn baby who is so dependent on you as the mama. Nursing her was also very healing for me. Sometimes it would bring me to tears. It was almost like my heart had open wounds on them, and when I held Tzeitel unimpaired they started to close up.

Now that I see how wonderful newborns and mothering a newborn can be, I want to do it a million times!  It really is so fun! Every smile and laugh warms my heart. Watching her sleep is precious. Her little rolls of baby fat are adorable, knowing that I made those rolls of baby fat with my milk is empowering.

It’s not without its own struggles and challenges, every baby has those. Nursing, napping, schedule changes, but as my second born nears her first birthday, it hit me how healing Tzeitel has been for me. Mothering her makes me more confident and eases the pain I felt with my boy.

This baby healed my heart…1/18/2013

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First birthday….1/18/2014

 

 

 

“The Island” and Abortion

“The Island” is a 2006 movie set in the near future about clones created as back up bodies for the super-rich. It’s actually a pretty good movie, I enjoyed watching it. These clones are born as adults from synthetic wombs, complete with umbilical cords, where they develop. During the course of the movie, two clones escape and discover their purpose in life- they were created to be killed. The doctors and scientists realized something is wrong with the newer set of clones, who begin questioning things around them, and orders them all to be terminated.

The adult clones are rounded up and gassed. The “baby” clones are simply cut off from their places of residence: their wombs. A knife was used to cut the womb open, fluid gushed out, and the adult-clone-baby was left to simply die. Sound familiar? There was even a close up of a beating heart at one point. Based on the music, these scenes were meant to stir the audience’s emotion and pull our heart strings. It’s possible this was a pro-life message in the Hollywood film staring Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johannson, though somehow I doubt it. There is, however, an obvious correlation between the two, killing the unborn human clones and killing the unborn human babies. As well as the links between the Jewish Holocaust and gassing the unwanted clones. In fact, the clones were considered less than human, which is why they were so disposable. Even though they had a beating heart (and other organs that were merely there to harvest), brain waves, body features, personalities, thoughts, emotions.

This was a big dilemma in the movie, unfortunately, it’s not much of a dilemma in the world that actually matters. The lives of the clones were fervently fought for, by both clone and non-clone alike, and eventually won. The end scene is all the clones streaming out of the compound with happy, relief-type music playing. The baby clones didn’t make it, and sadly, many baby humans don’t either.

This made me wonder why. Why was that scene meant to be sad? Was it because these helpless developing babies, that would someday become full-functioning adults, with no idea what was going on mercilessly killed? Oh, wait, I meant, helpless developing baby-clones, that would someday become full-functioning adult-clones, with no idea what was going on mercilessly killed? I don’t see much of a difference, do you? Why is one meant to evoke sympathetic emotion while the other deemed a woman’s right? Does it boil down to “out of sight, out of mind”? The plastic wombs in the film were clear, the wombs in a woman have flesh over them. Are we so deceived that if we don’t see something with our own two eyes it doesn’t matter? Both beings had beating hearts, the director made a point of showing one before that particular baby-clone was terminated.

A pro-life message in the pro-choice Hollywood world, hypocritical indeed.

Two main clones with baby clones in background.

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