To be honest, I was worried about having a second child. Even though my pregnancy and birth with my precious boy went perfectly, I had post-partum depression for over a year. I was worried the same thing would happen with my daughter. Only this time it would affect both my children. I thank God I didn’t have any PPD with my girl, I didn’t even really have any “baby blues” (aside from normal hormonal junk).
Having Tzeitel was so healing for me. It showed me I can do this. I can be a good mother, I am capable of loving a skinny little newborn baby who is so dependent on you as the mama. Nursing her was also very healing for me. Sometimes it would bring me to tears. It was almost like my heart had open wounds on them, and when I held Tzeitel unimpaired they started to close up.
Now that I see how wonderful newborns and mothering a newborn can be, I want to do it a million times! It really is so fun! Every smile and laugh warms my heart. Watching her sleep is precious. Her little rolls of baby fat are adorable, knowing that I made those rolls of baby fat with my milk is empowering.
It’s not without its own struggles and challenges, every baby has those. Nursing, napping, schedule changes, but as my second born nears her first birthday, it hit me how healing Tzeitel has been for me. Mothering her makes me more confident and eases the pain I felt with my boy.
This baby healed my heart…1/18/2013